hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
