He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
