you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize