Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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