That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
