id be glad to
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
