Me too!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
