The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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