Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
