my sisters under your porch take her home
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
