if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
