"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize