I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
