Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
