Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
