The maid of honor just puked.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
