she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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