I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
