bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
