so let's talk penis.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
this will be a night to untag.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
