Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
