I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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