I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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