It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
