Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
