They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
