I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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