Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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