honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
