Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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