I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
