Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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