you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
