I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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