Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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