so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
