I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
