I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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