if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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