I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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