Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
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