you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize