I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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