hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
