ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
