She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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