I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
