i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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