Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
