I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You are a genius and a whore.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
