let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
