I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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