Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
