ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
