I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
