I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
