i just had sex bonerless
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
