brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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