that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
