it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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