Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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