It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
