I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize