I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
